Widow who's husband died at Dignitas issues desperate plea – read her heartbreaking letter in full

A wife whose husband had a ‘beautiful’ death in her arms at Dignitas is pleading with MPs to stop Brits dying in a “cruel and wicked” game of Russian Roulette. is being investigated by police for taking Anthony, 59, who had motor neurone disease, to Switzerland to die in December.

As Parliament gears up to vote on assisted dying legislation in England and Wales she has written an open letter to MPs pleading for change. 58, from North Yorkshire, told The how she had to make “horrifying” phone calls to their three sons and their grandparents, telling them Anthony had died.

She said his 90-year-old parents were ‘blindsided’ by the news and she had to leave her husband’s memorial early because she had to protect them from the laws in this country. Now she faces an uncertain future, waiting to hear if she will be prosecuted by .

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Grief stricken Louise spoke to the Mirror from her home, which was extensively adapted for her husband, in rural North Yorkshire. She told how when Anthony received news of his “death-day” by email, he smiled but her was “blown apart”.

He was so happy about the news he wrote ‘death-day’ on his calendar for December 5th 2024. Louise said: “He used to laugh and say; ‘I was born in Scarborough, was married in Austria and I'm gonna die in Switzerland. I'm like an international guru. After his diagnosis in 2018 she said they set about fulfilling his bucket list and "couldn't cry for six years.”

“You've got to make good times” she said. But as his condition deteriorated Anthony decided to carry out his plan. The couple flew to Switzerland on December 1st and had “four amazing days” together before arriving at the Dignitas ‘blue’ house.

After he was told once again, he would not wake up from the barbiturate, he told staff: ‘What do you think I’m here for. Let’s do this’ and he took the drug before slipping away in her arms.

Breaking down in tears, Louise told The Mirror: “I had to leave him there, not knowing what would happen to him. I had to get on the plane with his empty seat beside me. I cried for two hours on the flight home.

“I was devastated for him, for everything he’d had to go through. Why couldn’t he have been at home with his family, with our boys, even with the ?

“His family live nearby and didn’t get to say goodbye. The people closest to him knew, but they just didn’t know the date.

“The first thing they knew was I'm in an Uber in the state I was in. I was a mess. I needed a familiar voice. and I needed to tell our children.

“t was so horrific as a mother to have to do that with your children. I had to phone his mum and dad, his 90 year old mother and father and tell them over the phone, they were blindsided over it, absolutely blindsided. His father couldn't speak.

“He could not say goodbye to anyone because we couldn't let them know we were going. It's pushed underground . It's just so wrong, people shouldn't have to go through that.

“My husband’s memorial was full of his friends and I went and after the celebrant and my son spoke, I felt I had to leave because I was putting them in an impossible position.”

To the MPs facing the vote on May 16th, she says: “I understand their concerns. But our palliative care services are absolutely shocking. People are suffering. People are dying, analgesia isn't working.

“You need to give people the choice. A lot of us wish we could die in our sleep. And that's exactly how my husband died. He fell asleep in my arms and it was beautiful.”

“It feels like the government is exporting compassion. Whilst they neglect the lack of palliative care in this country and may not be aware of the suicide rates of people who are diagnosed with a terminal illness.”

In the Lancet, she says, there was a study of 47 million people with a terminal diagnosis, within the first year of diagnosis 27.9 per cent take their own lives.

And she points out the process for Dignitas is “not easy” and is extremely expensive.

There are psychiatric assessments, notaries to pay for, and can be as much as £20,000 with all the costs and travel taken into consideration.

About how desperate the situation makes Brits, she said: “Anthony had anxiety before he got what they call the provisional green light from Dignitas. When he got the green light, he then started looking at how his body would come back.

“But my husband died prematurely because of our law. Because he could still be here now. He had to be able to get there physically so we went earlier.

“Before he died I had to provide full care. He started going downhill quite from 2023 and that's when he was talking about committing suicide at home.

“It was more about his dignity, he couldn't eat very well and he started choking on his food. He hated the fact that I had to toilet him. It was his independence he wanted back and mourned for.

“ He said that he could live without motorbiking, , playing pool but he could not live without that.

“His quality of life was beginning to deteriorate and the motor neurone was beginning to take a fierce grip. He was scared of what was to come next..

“Because he was deteriorating, he knew that I wouldn't be able to help him soon, and he didn't want anyone else to get in trouble.

“He was scared of his death from motor neurone but he wasn't scared of his death day at Dignitas. In fact he was rejuvenated knowing that his end would be peaceful.”

Asked how she coped with knowing his ‘deathday’ was approaching, she said: “I'd already suffered for the five odd years with anticipation-grief, knowing he was going to die. But when he smiled at me and said, ‘I've got my date,' I broke. It was horrible because I knew he had to do this away from everyone he loved.

“He started making plans about how he wanted to say goodbye to people, while not being able to tell them when he was going to end his life. He had four amazing friends and the night before we left to go to Airport, he rang every one of them, apart from one who we couldn't get hold of and that upset him so much.

“They all then got together and said if you had a phone call from ‘Shack?’ it's not usual that he rings them like that. They must have found it strange. I just wish he could have said a proper goodbye to everyone.”

In her letter to MPs she says: "My name is Louise Shackleton, My husband’s name was Antony Shackleton. My husband left my life on the 5th of December 2024 aged 59 years old whilst in the compassionate care of Dignitas in Switzerland.

“Antony suffered from Motor Neurone Disease for 6 years, every activity he enjoyed was slowly taken away from him. He chose to leave my world as he could not bear the horrific death that MND promised him.

“His choices were to choke, to suffocate slowly or die of a chest infection whilst chemically coshed to keep him calm and sedated. Palliative care would give him no better a death or stop his pain. Antony died on his own terms at 11.33am Swiss time peacefully, gracefully and in complete calm which I know is difficult for most people to understand. My husband had a beautiful death.

“Whilst the bill you are about to vote on might not have helped my husband die a peaceful death there are many people it will help. I hear the cry of Palliative care from some and that this is the way forward. The stark fact is that this does not work for everyone. It is recorded the 20 people a day die from an unrelieved painful death, suffering whilst traumatised family look on helpless. The Office of Health Economics (OHE) report states that fewer than 5% of terminally ill people in England that needed hospice care received it.

“So, MPs, when you cut funding then expect a charity to pick up more work you leave people to look forward to a wicked death. We need to do better to ensure people who do not want an assisted death do not suffer.

“...Public opinion is overwhelmingly in favour of being given the choice of how they die...Assisted dying is now a matter of wealth, it takes a certain amount of wealth to go to Switzerland to die, have a cremation and repatriate of the ashes, it is approximately £19,000… those who cannot afford to spend that amount of money are left playing Russian roulette on how they are going to die.

“You have the power to be human, you can do something amazing for the people of our country. No one is forced to undertake an assisted death; it is an opt in, not an opt out.

“...I have been through the Dignitas process by the side of my husband. It is thorough, it is lengthy, it is considerate, it is a choice. Dignitas data shows that people who achieve “the provisional green light” mainly find peace that they have the option but they do not take up the choice of an assisted death. Just the comfort of the option is enough for them.

“You have the power, the power to be human to relieve pain and suffering. Please use your vote wisely for all our sakes.” Louise did not receive any payment for this interview.

The Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill will return to the Commons on May 16th. The Bill aims to allow terminally ill adults in England and Wales - with less than six months to live - to legally end their lives.

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